Which leaves me a little rudderless, surprisingly. I always thought I had a bigger vision than just the earthly stuff. I believed (believe?) that serving others will lead to more contentment and fulfillment than pursuing your own ends, for example. If I don't have a nice house or an iPhone or a Mercedes, I'll be fine because I have a purpose. But with Burgundy almost grown and no more children apparent, I feel lost and confused.
We could foster to adopt. We could adopt from the US or from another country. We could get Burgundy through college and then be international jet-setters. We have all these options, and none of them really appeal to me right now.
So for lack of direction, mission, purpose, here are my 2010 resolutions:
- Save my marriage. Granted, I can't do this alone, but he's giving it everything, too. I can be present; I can serve him; I can show him love and grace.
- Tithe regularly at our church. I don't personally believe that all of my tithe has to go to the church, but I am in the unique and somewhat rare position of believing that my church basically is doing all the right things. They're getting out of debt, spending modestly, supporting missions I want to see supported, and they're a strong, essential part of our community. Even before I attended there, I knew who they were and what they did for our community; I want to support our church with our money.
- Finish our six-month emergency fund.
- Replace Mark's car using cash on hand.
- Put the finishing touches on all the projects that JB completed:
- Putty and paint the trim in the bathroom around the tub
- Install the new vanity and sink in the master bathroom
- Putty, caulk, and paint the baseboards and the trim around the new door
- Install baseboards in the guest bathroom, putty and paint them
- Limit eating out to twice a week. We eat out way too much, so much that it's more like we dine in twice a week. Our health is suffering as a result. I'm perpetually nauseous. I have pretty much everything I could ever hope to need for cooking at home, and now I have Julia Child, too. It's time to use her.