I feel a little blue today. I had a haircut this morning, and I look much less shaggy now. I almost bought a tube of makeup. Well, tint-releasing moisturizer. Anyway, I was saved by the outrageous price tag: $21. Good grief. It isn't even real makeup. Just a tube of moisturizer.
Here's the thing: I don't wear make up. I haven't worn it with any kind of regularity in years. Recently, I decided to start using moisturizer just because my face has been feeling tight after washing. And I thought, "Hey, if I'm going to take the 30 seconds to rub something on my face anyway, I might as well even out the tone." Apparently not. Twenty-one dollars? Really? Thank God I'm a cheapskate. That was a close one.
Many women choose to spend 30 to 45 minutes every morning carefully applying makeup, coiffing their tresses, ironing their blouses and putting themselves together. And it shows. They look great, have their own unique style, and they command a kind of automatic respect I really admire. Believe me, I want to be thought beautiful. I want my husband to think I'm pretty and to pursue me.
Here's the thing: I have very little free time. In that free time, I have a number of fascinating options: I can bake, knit, roll around on the dog-hair-carpeted floor with Holden, snuggle Ruby, or talk smack about music and art with Burgundy. I can write here. While I value appearance, I just don't value it as much as I do my knitting. Or homemade chocolate cake. Or the way Holden dances in place with glee when I stop what I'm doing, drop into a crouch, and say, "I'm. Gonna. GET. YOU."
Please understand that I'm not slamming women who do value their appearance in that way. Thirty minutes a day is not so much time that they won't know their kids or ever make a batch of cookies. I just don't value it myself. Not when I consider the progress I can make on a sweater in 30 minutes (not much).
Anyway, I feel a little blue today. I want Burgundy to come home; I want my house to be clean, and I want my husband to notice me in a way that I'm not really willing to put in the effort to make happen. And that's okay, I think.
I can totally relate. I look at women that look really put together, but it's just not a priority for me. I have such a limited amount of "me" time, that I would rather spend it doing something that I view as productive (sewing, reading, baking, etc.) instead of putting effort into myself.
ReplyDeleteI am a half and halfer. When I stay home, I don't bother with makeup or straightening my hair but when I go out, I want the world to see me how I view myself which is apparently with mascara and straight hair ;-).
ReplyDeleteI was a sahm for many years and I found I really got into a bit of a rut and not spending any time on my appearance. I found that spending that few minutes a day (lets face it, sometimes that just means actually brushing the do)made me feel a bit better about myself and gave me the impetus to change another diaper or cook another meal.
There is more than one brand of tinted moisturizer, eh? Cover Girl has one, on Amazon that is $6.24 which is the same price as just plain moisturizer and it has an SPF of 15 which you should be wearing anyways. Even in my sahm days, I moisturized every day and ya gotta admit, for 51, I don't have a lot of wrinkles. Also, for me to do my makeup from base, mascara, touch of eyeshadow, lip stain, takes me 5 minutes. My hair takes longer, stoopid curls!!!
In the end, you are a smart woman and know yourself better than anyone and where spending your time serves you best. I am not trying to give you advice (except for cheap tinted moisturizer if you want it)but just saying, yep, been there baby and you have my understanding and hugs.
Oh and we both have new do's, we should let them meet up soon!
I love this post. I think you have identified the hardship that is woman - the delicate balance of feeling beautiful and feeling useful. I think you're both :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Katie!
ReplyDelete