Friday, January 22, 2010

RPatz' Fate

Yesterday before school Burgundy explained her plan for the poster. Its new tormentee is to be her teacher, Ms. G. I'm given to understand that Ms. G hates RPatz. Hates. She told Ms. G that she had a surprise for her, but it was too big to bring to class. So Ms. G agreed to leave her door unlocked for Burgundy after school. Poor, dear lady.

After school, I took the poster, some thumbtacks, and print-outs of my two previous RPatz entries (so Ms. G would understand the joke) up to the school to meet Burgundy and her cohort, Brandon. We gained entry to the school by flashing the poster at unsuspecting youngsters who, in their rush to escape his fatuous gaze, opened the door for us.

We crept (sounding almost as stealthy as a freight train repeatedly ramming a granite cliff) up the stairs and into Ms. G's room, where the cleaning lady tried hard not to stare but failed. Ms. G has a huge banner across the back of her room that reads, "Geographers, Models, and Theories;" of course, we hung the poster under that title (being careful not to stick tacks through the banner) and over the faces of a couple of famous folks on the banner.

Naturally, this occasioned great hilarity. The culprits had to pose with the poster, but they're so stealth and G that they protected their identities.

Happily, having a life with homework, dinner, and all the other things that distract us, we were forced to take our leave of young, fair, vacuous Mr. Pattinson.  I'm sure he won't be lonely there in the classroom.

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